Decions, decisons, decisions.

I can't quite explain what it is about decision making that tends to be so difficult for me. I don't know if it's the fact that whatever choice I make or path I choose to follow (especially if it's a bad choice) I have to take responsibility for it and where I end up because of it. I know it sounds ridiculous. I should be used to making decisions and very used to change. I've been doing it my whole life. After all, I went to college, got married, have a good job etc.--all of which were decisions I had to make at one point or another. I also spent most of my childhood being moved from one state to another or even from one country to another, having to make new friends and adjust all the while. I like to think that I was open to these "transplants" and enjoyed the change of scenery. So what exactly is it, now that I'm a little older and more set in my stubborn ways, that makes it so hard for me to make decisions.

What brings me to one of those difficult decisions is a job opportunity that I happened to "stumble" upon a few weeks ago. I've had my current job for almost 2 years and have enjoyed it for the most part (as much as someone can who doesn't like to work...) I've learned, grown and honed my skills and feel I've become a very valuable employee. The only down-side to this job is that we have our off season--a time when I get very bored for about 4 months at a time. Well, I don't handle boredom well. Yes, any good employee can find something to do to pass the time and continue to be a valuable asset to their company. So, call me a bad employee- you can only read so many tutorials and do so many silly projects, before you decide you've forgotten how to read and just can't take it anymore.

I was never really actively looking for a new job. I'm one of those people who wallows in self pity and complains about their problems, but never really does much to "fix" the problem, especially not if it requires doing something about it. Ya, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either.

So I happened to come across a job with potential. 'I'll never get it', I figured, which is probably why I called on it and later applied for it. Lo and behold they called me in for an interview and liked what they saw. Weird, I know. That was still ok until they offered me a job. Now I really had to sit down, think about my current position and decide if I was miserable enough in my current job to actually do something about it. Was it enough for that dreaded word...."change." That required thinking... something I also tend to struggle with.

After many failed attempts with the "thought process" and much "pushing it aside" I realized I really did, finally, have to make a choice. I had to decide if I wanted to stay in my current job, be bored and stagnate, or if I wanted to start a new job (which is always a delightful experience--going somewhere where you don't know anyone or what's going on and have to start all over at square). Neither sounded all that appealing, but those were the choices I had.

It may seem like a no-brainer to most people, but for one who was never good at making decisions and adjusting to change, this posed a potential problem, because I couldn't choose neither, because even that would be a decision. (We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision. -Gary Collins)

After much "thought" a.k.a-asking my family members what THEY thought I should do, I knew I'd have to make the decision on my own. No one could make it for me (what a bummer, I know) because this was a choice I'd have to make and then take responsibility for the whatever the outcome.

So I've made my decision and only time will tell if it was a good one. As William Pollard said: "It is not always what we know or analyzed before we make a decision that makes it a great decision. It is what we do after we make the decision to implement and execute it that makes it a good decision."

Hopefully I can do what it takes to make it a great decision.

With that said, here are some great quotes I found on decision making that will hopefully help any of you fellow decision-making "re re's".

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. - H.L. Hunt

A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion (or his family's) -Chinese Proverb

The more decisions that you are forced to make alone, the more you are aware of your freedom to choose. - Thornton Wilder