I think I can confidently say that this has been one of the worst days of my life. I've been crushed by recent news of my sweet little sister and her pregnancy as well as some personal battles. But amazingly enough, I think I'm ok. I'm still here, still healthy and relatively happy (as happy as one can be given the circumstances.)
As I've been pondering upon the day's developments and talking to my family and such it's led to a lot of thinking; thinking about faith and why some things turn out the way they do. As I thought about this, a conference talk came to mind entitled "But if not". I read over it again and just felt comforted by the words given by Elder Dennis E. Simmons. I find it reassuring to know that I am not the only one where things don't go quite as planned and am not the only one who struggles with the concept of true faith.
I thought I had faith that all would work out with my sister's pregnancy and now that it hasn't worked out as I had thought, I feel like I didn't have enough faith or that maybe I had faith in the wrong thing, which isn't technically faith then.
Basically, after reading this talk, I've come to realize that when things don't quite work out as I had "hoped" or had "faith" they would, that it doesn't mean the Lord loves me any less or that He isn't listening to my prayers. It just means He knows what's going on and that if I have faith in HIM, all will work out as it should. Not only will it work out as it should, but I can be at peace with it.
This is kinda long, but I wanted to paste his talk in here as my "thought". I hope you will take a moment to read it and feel a little more at peace.
As a young man, I returned home from an eighth-grade basketball tournament dejected, disappointed, and confused. I blurted out to my mother, “I don’t know why we lost—I had faith we’d win!”
I now realize that I did not then know what faith is.
Faith is not bravado, not just a wish, not just a hope. True faith is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ—confidence and trust in Jesus Christ that leads a person to follow Him.
Centuries ago, Daniel and his young associates were suddenly thrust from security into the world—a world foreign and intimidating. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego refused to bow down and worship a golden image set up by the king, a furious Nebuchadnezzar told them that if they would not worship as commanded, they would immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. “And who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?”
The three young men quickly and confidently responded, “If it be so [if you cast us into the furnace], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand.” That sounds like my eighth-grade kind of faith. But then they demonstrated that they fully understood what faith is. They continued, “But if not, … we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.” That is a statement of true faith.
They knew that they could trust God—even if things didn’t turn out the way they hoped. They knew that faith is more than mental assent, more than an acknowledgment that God lives. Faith is total trust in Him.
Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego knew they could always rely on Him because they knew His plan, and they knew that He does not change. They knew, as we know, that mortality is not an accident of nature. It is a brief segment of the great plan of our loving Father in Heaven to make it possible for us, His sons and daughters, to achieve the same blessings He enjoys, if we are willing.
They knew, as we know, that in our premortal life, we were instructed by Him as to the purpose of mortality: “We will make an earth whereon these may dwell; And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.”
So there we have it—it’s a test. The world is a testing place for mortal men and women. When we understand that it’s all a test, administered by our Heavenly Father, who wants us to trust in Him and to allow Him to help us, we can then see everything more clearly.
His work and His glory, He told us, is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” He has already achieved godhood. Now His only objective is to help us—to enable us to return to Him and be like Him and live His kind of life eternally.
Knowing all this, it was not difficult for those three young Hebrews to make their decision. They would follow God; they would exercise faith in Him. He would deliver them, but if not—and we know the rest of the story.
The Lord has given us agency, the right and the responsibility to decide. He tests us by allowing us to be challenged. He assures us that He will not suffer us to be tempted beyond our ability to withstand. But we must understand that great challenges make great men(and women). We don’t seek tribulation, but if we respond in faith, the Lord strengthens us. The but if nots can become remarkable blessings.
The Apostle Paul learned this significant lesson and declared, after decades of dedicated missionary work, “We glory in tribulations … knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed.”
He was assured by the Savior, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
Paul responded: “Most gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. … I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” When Paul met his challenges the Lord’s way, his faith increased.
“By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac.” Abraham, because of his great faith, was promised posterity greater in number than the stars in the heavens, and that that posterity would come through Isaac. But Abraham immediately complied with the Lord’s command. God would keep His promise, but if not in the manner Abraham expected, he still trusted Him completely.
Men accomplish marvelous things by trusting in the Lord and keeping His commandments—by exercising faith even when they don’t know how the Lord is shaping them.
“By faith Moses … refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter;
“Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;
“Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt. …
“By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king. …
“By faith they passed through the Red sea as by dry land. …
“By faith the walls of Jericho fell down.”
Others “through faith subdued kingdoms, … obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,
“Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight.”
But in the midst of all those glorious outcomes hoped for and expected by the participants, there were always the but if nots:
“And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, … bonds and imprisonment:
“They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about … being destitute, afflicted, tormented; …
“God having provided some better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect.”
Our scriptures and our history are replete with accounts of God’s great men and women who believed that He would deliver them, but if not, they demonstrated that they would trust and be true.
He has the power, but it’s our test.
What does the Lord expect of us with respect to our challenges? He expects us to do all we can do. He does the rest. Nephi said, “For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”
We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.
Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not … . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. … He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, … we will trust in the Lord.
Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. … He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. … We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, … we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I love this talk. I think it is a great reminder to put our whole trust in the Lord. I like what he said above that without sufferings, we can't be made perfect. If that's the case, my sister is well on her way to becoming perfect. ;)
The Lord will always watch over us and protect us...but if not, I will still Trust in Him. I trust that He knows what He's doing and that there is a reason (whether known to me or not) behind all that happens.
And to my sweet, incredibly strong little sister: We love you and pray for you and Sophie, always.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Experience: everybody wants some!
Have you ever noticed that when you are looking for a job, everyone wants you to have x years of experience? You will hardly ever see a wanted ad that says "no experience required," and if it does, you probably don't want it (sitting and answering phones all day or making cold calls might not be what you're looking for). I find it incredibly annoying that everyone wants you to have experience, but no one wants to give it to you! But I don't just mean this in the employment world - in life in general.
For example, I went to play Racquetball with Joe and my brother-in-law the other evening. I was kind of excited to go and play, but that excitement was quickly sqmashed when I saw that they didn't REALLY want to play with me because I wasn't experienced enough (basically, I wasn't good enough). Every time it was my turn to serve, Joe would return it so hard or in such a way that there was no way I could move fast enough or skillfully enough to catch it. After a few serves (strictly following this routine) it got rather annoying. Both Joe and his brother were not particularly interested in going "easy" on me. Every time they got up to serve, they played while I basically sat in the back corner trying to stay out of their way. After the first game, I gave up and went and sat out so they could play a "real" game and didn't have to play "around" me.
I guess I just got frustrated that Joe wanted me to come and play so bad, but when it really came down to it, he wanted to REALLY play and not "play" with me. He wanted me to play, but didn't want to play at a level where I could improve...only one where I could chase the ball around the entire court, run around in circles or run into the walls. That isn't exactly my idea of fun. I love to play when I can play those at my level, but not when I don't get to participate.
After I decided to sit out, it got me thinking about why they wouldn't let me play (well, they didn't TELL me I couldn't play, they SHOWED me they didn't WANT me to play). Joe wanted someone to play with, but only someone who was at his level (his brother). Did he want to help me get to his level? No, not really. He just wanted to play his brother or play me in a way where he got to watch me chase the ball around (I think this was his was of "proving" that he was better than me--our points always had to be 2 to 15 or so). He wanted to hit the ball hard and in a manner I'm not used to (I'm still learning where that silly little ball bounces after it hits various spots on the wall).
After I thought about this, it made me realize the world is JUST like that! The world is just like my mean-racquetball-hitting-husband!
I remember applying for the job I have now. They didn't want to hire me because I didn't have any experience (I had never sat in front of a computer typing blog entries all day!) They finally hired me when they realized how cheap I would be since I did lack the experience they were searching for. Since I didn't have experience, they didn't have to pay me the average wage for someone applying for my position. I'm very grateful they gave me the position and are still giving me the experience I lacked, but I still consider myself lucky to have 'earned' it even though I lacked the experience.
I guess it just seems wrong to me that this is the way the world works.
It actually reminds me of a line from my patriarchal blessing. It said that some of the things I'd go through in life would give me experience and greater understanding. Not necessarily experience in the working world, but in my personal life (whatever that may be). I guess you could say it gives me hope to know that the experiences I go through now, will give me greater experience and learning- whether that be learning to help my husband, or gaining experience to help me to someday raise and teach my children, or even to strengthen my testimony and give me experience in standing steadfast and immoveable.
Not everyone wants to GIVE you experience, but that doesn't mean you can't obtain it on your own. I think that is what I've learned through this. You can't always rely on others to teach you or give you that experience, sometimes you just have to do the best you can and hopefully learn along the way. You need to put forth the effort yourself (get help when you can!) and learn from those experiences placed before you. Not just learn, but put into action.
That was my great "learning experience" from the other evening. I seem to learn a lot from being frustrated--it's the only way I feel strongly enough to change something!
“After awhile you learn that what you really are is all the experiences and all the thoughts you've ever had and all the people who have touched your life, no matter how briefly.” -unknown
“The hardest part about growing up is letting go with what you have been accustomed to and moving on with something that you haven't experienced yet.” -unknown
“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
For example, I went to play Racquetball with Joe and my brother-in-law the other evening. I was kind of excited to go and play, but that excitement was quickly sqmashed when I saw that they didn't REALLY want to play with me because I wasn't experienced enough (basically, I wasn't good enough). Every time it was my turn to serve, Joe would return it so hard or in such a way that there was no way I could move fast enough or skillfully enough to catch it. After a few serves (strictly following this routine) it got rather annoying. Both Joe and his brother were not particularly interested in going "easy" on me. Every time they got up to serve, they played while I basically sat in the back corner trying to stay out of their way. After the first game, I gave up and went and sat out so they could play a "real" game and didn't have to play "around" me.
I guess I just got frustrated that Joe wanted me to come and play so bad, but when it really came down to it, he wanted to REALLY play and not "play" with me. He wanted me to play, but didn't want to play at a level where I could improve...only one where I could chase the ball around the entire court, run around in circles or run into the walls. That isn't exactly my idea of fun. I love to play when I can play those at my level, but not when I don't get to participate.
After I decided to sit out, it got me thinking about why they wouldn't let me play (well, they didn't TELL me I couldn't play, they SHOWED me they didn't WANT me to play). Joe wanted someone to play with, but only someone who was at his level (his brother). Did he want to help me get to his level? No, not really. He just wanted to play his brother or play me in a way where he got to watch me chase the ball around (I think this was his was of "proving" that he was better than me--our points always had to be 2 to 15 or so). He wanted to hit the ball hard and in a manner I'm not used to (I'm still learning where that silly little ball bounces after it hits various spots on the wall).
After I thought about this, it made me realize the world is JUST like that! The world is just like my mean-racquetball-hitting-husband!
I remember applying for the job I have now. They didn't want to hire me because I didn't have any experience (I had never sat in front of a computer typing blog entries all day!) They finally hired me when they realized how cheap I would be since I did lack the experience they were searching for. Since I didn't have experience, they didn't have to pay me the average wage for someone applying for my position. I'm very grateful they gave me the position and are still giving me the experience I lacked, but I still consider myself lucky to have 'earned' it even though I lacked the experience.
I guess it just seems wrong to me that this is the way the world works.
It actually reminds me of a line from my patriarchal blessing. It said that some of the things I'd go through in life would give me experience and greater understanding. Not necessarily experience in the working world, but in my personal life (whatever that may be). I guess you could say it gives me hope to know that the experiences I go through now, will give me greater experience and learning- whether that be learning to help my husband, or gaining experience to help me to someday raise and teach my children, or even to strengthen my testimony and give me experience in standing steadfast and immoveable.
Not everyone wants to GIVE you experience, but that doesn't mean you can't obtain it on your own. I think that is what I've learned through this. You can't always rely on others to teach you or give you that experience, sometimes you just have to do the best you can and hopefully learn along the way. You need to put forth the effort yourself (get help when you can!) and learn from those experiences placed before you. Not just learn, but put into action.
That was my great "learning experience" from the other evening. I seem to learn a lot from being frustrated--it's the only way I feel strongly enough to change something!
“After awhile you learn that what you really are is all the experiences and all the thoughts you've ever had and all the people who have touched your life, no matter how briefly.” -unknown
“The hardest part about growing up is letting go with what you have been accustomed to and moving on with something that you haven't experienced yet.” -unknown
“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Freedom
I found a great quote on being "free" which helped me to decide it would be appropriate to write a blog on "freedom" especially since we just celebrated the anniversary of establishing true freedom in our country.
But I don't necessarily want to talk about freedom of speech or religion or anything included in the 5th amendment. Don't get me wrong, those are incredible freedoms, which I am grateful to have. I more want to talk about freedom of character, freedom of mind. Being free to be me. Basically, not being tied down. Part of what led me to this topic is the fact that I have not felt "free" the last little while.
I've been having the hardest time learning to "grow up." I just got out of college and have been working since then. I've had this job for a year (longer than I've ever had any job before). But I'm not used to working so much. All through college I held a job, but worked part time. During the summers, I worked if it was convenient (and was poor). Once summer was over, I got a break from work and went back to school. Once school became overly boring, I returned to work for a short period and filled the space with vacations and play time again. Only problem now is that school is over. Once my schooling ended, so did spontaneity.
I no longer have the freedom to float from school to work to vacation. I am now required to clear my "freedom" with my boss. I find myself sinking into minor depression, being stuck in the "daily grind". Happiness is no longer something so simple to find. It is amazing how sad life becomes without freedom. I don't understand how most people spend their lives working!
Growing up is the hardest thing I've ever really had to do. Being responsible for all my choices and being responsible to other people is definitely taking it's toll on me. In school if I didn't complete my work, it only effected me. Now, if I don't complete an assignment, it effects my boss, my co-workers, my clients etc.
Basically I'm having to find other ways to be happy. I'm having to find ways to "enjoy" work. I'm still working on it, that's for certain! Hopefully one of these days I will be able to master my moods and emotions. Hopefully I will learn to find my role in life and learn to be content. Things are not as they always were and they will continue to change. Responsibilities will change. People will change. Life is constantly changing. It's funny, I used to LOVE change. Loved moving, meeting new people, changing jobs, switching majors etc. Now it seems you get comfortable where you are, and then don't like the changes.
Life is one of those things you will never master. You can only work on it, every day. Hopefully I will master the realization that I will never master life--only master my emotions. And once I have those under control, the rest should be simple.
"Concern should drive us into action and not into a depression. No man is free who cannot control himself." --Pythagoras
"The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, courage." -Thucydides
"Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be." -Daniel J. Boorstin
And lastly,
"Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire." -Epictetus
But I don't necessarily want to talk about freedom of speech or religion or anything included in the 5th amendment. Don't get me wrong, those are incredible freedoms, which I am grateful to have. I more want to talk about freedom of character, freedom of mind. Being free to be me. Basically, not being tied down. Part of what led me to this topic is the fact that I have not felt "free" the last little while.
I've been having the hardest time learning to "grow up." I just got out of college and have been working since then. I've had this job for a year (longer than I've ever had any job before). But I'm not used to working so much. All through college I held a job, but worked part time. During the summers, I worked if it was convenient (and was poor). Once summer was over, I got a break from work and went back to school. Once school became overly boring, I returned to work for a short period and filled the space with vacations and play time again. Only problem now is that school is over. Once my schooling ended, so did spontaneity.
I no longer have the freedom to float from school to work to vacation. I am now required to clear my "freedom" with my boss. I find myself sinking into minor depression, being stuck in the "daily grind". Happiness is no longer something so simple to find. It is amazing how sad life becomes without freedom. I don't understand how most people spend their lives working!
Growing up is the hardest thing I've ever really had to do. Being responsible for all my choices and being responsible to other people is definitely taking it's toll on me. In school if I didn't complete my work, it only effected me. Now, if I don't complete an assignment, it effects my boss, my co-workers, my clients etc.
Basically I'm having to find other ways to be happy. I'm having to find ways to "enjoy" work. I'm still working on it, that's for certain! Hopefully one of these days I will be able to master my moods and emotions. Hopefully I will learn to find my role in life and learn to be content. Things are not as they always were and they will continue to change. Responsibilities will change. People will change. Life is constantly changing. It's funny, I used to LOVE change. Loved moving, meeting new people, changing jobs, switching majors etc. Now it seems you get comfortable where you are, and then don't like the changes.
Life is one of those things you will never master. You can only work on it, every day. Hopefully I will master the realization that I will never master life--only master my emotions. And once I have those under control, the rest should be simple.
"Concern should drive us into action and not into a depression. No man is free who cannot control himself." --Pythagoras
"The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, courage." -Thucydides
"Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be." -Daniel J. Boorstin
And lastly,
"Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire." -Epictetus
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Service-small acts make the biggest difference
There were a few things that led me to this topic... One is that I'm extremely bored at work again (that situation tends to lend itself to much "thinking" time). Another is that I have an incredibly sweet and thoughtful husband who spends way too much of his time doing acts of selfless service for his little wife. The last is that I found a quote by Gandhi that I thought perfectly described the act of service.
I was lying in bed with my husband last night, talking. He told me that he'd been thinking of ways he could serve me-things he could do for me to make me happier. We talked about all the things he's been trying to do for me and I just sat there thinking "wow, what an awesome husband I have!" Thinking more about all the things he's done for me, I stand in awe. He really does do so much for me. He is always looking out for me and always doing little things to improve my life and our married life. After he said that, I thought "why don't I do that"?
This got me thinking even more (only increasing the headache I have from the previous thought process). I know we've all heard that we should completely lose ourselves in the service of others. I know that I, specifically was told by my Stake President, before I was married, to always think of my spouse first; think of his needs and seek to serve him. He said that if we both will think of the other first, that our needs would always be met and we would always abound in love for one another.
How sad is it that I've only been married for 7 months and had already forgotten this counsel!? How true is it though!? If we will always think of our spouse first and foremost and our spouse does the same, how can we not be happy? This isn't only true for spouses, but for children and friends, too (to a degree). Especially since when you serve others, you learn to love them more, which love leads to more service which leads to more love and so on and so forth.
Basically, my thoughts are that I need to spend less time worrying about myself and more time worrying about what I can do for others. This not only leads to the "warm, fuzzy feeling" of knowing you have made someone's life better, but also to self discovery.
That's why I chose these quotes:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -Mahatma Gandhi
"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdome; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." --Mosiah 2:17
Hopefully we can all remember to serve each other a little more. Think of others a little more. And strive to make life better, one small act of service at a time.
I was lying in bed with my husband last night, talking. He told me that he'd been thinking of ways he could serve me-things he could do for me to make me happier. We talked about all the things he's been trying to do for me and I just sat there thinking "wow, what an awesome husband I have!" Thinking more about all the things he's done for me, I stand in awe. He really does do so much for me. He is always looking out for me and always doing little things to improve my life and our married life. After he said that, I thought "why don't I do that"?
This got me thinking even more (only increasing the headache I have from the previous thought process). I know we've all heard that we should completely lose ourselves in the service of others. I know that I, specifically was told by my Stake President, before I was married, to always think of my spouse first; think of his needs and seek to serve him. He said that if we both will think of the other first, that our needs would always be met and we would always abound in love for one another.
How sad is it that I've only been married for 7 months and had already forgotten this counsel!? How true is it though!? If we will always think of our spouse first and foremost and our spouse does the same, how can we not be happy? This isn't only true for spouses, but for children and friends, too (to a degree). Especially since when you serve others, you learn to love them more, which love leads to more service which leads to more love and so on and so forth.
Basically, my thoughts are that I need to spend less time worrying about myself and more time worrying about what I can do for others. This not only leads to the "warm, fuzzy feeling" of knowing you have made someone's life better, but also to self discovery.
That's why I chose these quotes:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -Mahatma Gandhi
"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdome; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." --Mosiah 2:17
Hopefully we can all remember to serve each other a little more. Think of others a little more. And strive to make life better, one small act of service at a time.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Thoughts on Gratitude
I missed a day...I guess you could say I had no "deep thoughts". I think this blog has become a reminder for me to sit and reflect on something - to "Be Still".
Today I decided to think more on the subject of gratitude or the lack thereof.
What brings me to this topic is my husband. Every once in a while, he will just sit and stare. After a few moments he will get a huge grin on his face and say "We are SO blessed!" He does this quite frequently, too. I could not agree with him more! We are such blessed people, especially those of us that have the gospel in our lives. With that knowledge, the blessings never cease!
So why is it that at times we forget how blessed we are and forget to be grateful? Why do we get those moments where we feel like complaining? My personal opinion is that the moment we start comparing ourselves to others is the moment we stop being grateful. I think we see the "Jones'" next door who have everything and we don't. We see them with their 4 houses, 3 cars and a boat ;-) They seem happier and content because of all they have. We see them happy and become unhappy. We think they must be happy because of what they have, and we must be unhappy because we "have not".
It's like Dr. Seuss' star bellied sneetches. They ran around trying to be the ones with "stars upon thars" and then once they noticed everyone else had it too, they ran around trying to remove them. They ran so quickly from here to there that they lost track of what they were trying to achieve- who they were tyring to "one up". They lost track of what was "the cool thing to do". They forgot to be grateful for what they did have. They forgot to be grateful for their unique personalities, their differences. They focused on what others had, rather than what they had.
I know I am frequently guilty of this mind set. We have friends who have a nicer home, or who have more toys, or who have a cooler car, or who have no debt, or have a big TV, or have a better job that pays more, or seem to have no worries or whatever! The problems arises when we stop worrying about what we are doing to improve and start to worry about someone else!
Have you ever really sat down and tried to "count your blessings"? I don't do it nearly enough. I know I have a million things to be grateful for. I have an amazing husband, incredible family and extended family, beautiful nieces and nephews, a great home, all the food we could ever need, a great job, my health, the gospel, a room full of scrapbook supplies ;-), an education, transportation etc. The list goes on and on! There is so much. And even if all those things weren't on my list--I have my family and the gospel. That in and of itself is so much to be grateful for.
With that said, I should probably get to the quote... I thought it would be appropriate to use a quote from President Hinckley's B's. No one could say it better.
"Walk with gratitude in your hearts, my dear friends. Be thankful for the wonderful blessings which are yours. Be grateful for the tremendous opportunities that you have...
Thank the Lord for His goodness to you. Thank the Almighty for His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who has done for you what none other in all this world could do. Thank Him for His great example, for His tremendous teachings, for His outreaching hand to lift and help...Pour out your heart to your Father in Heaven in gratitude for the gift of His Beloved Son.
Thank the Lord for His marvelous Church restored in this great season of history. Thank Him for all that it offers you. Thank Him for friends and loved ones, for parents and brothers and sisters, for family. Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at it. You will find it will yield wonderful results." --President Gordon B. Hinckley
Today I decided to think more on the subject of gratitude or the lack thereof.
What brings me to this topic is my husband. Every once in a while, he will just sit and stare. After a few moments he will get a huge grin on his face and say "We are SO blessed!" He does this quite frequently, too. I could not agree with him more! We are such blessed people, especially those of us that have the gospel in our lives. With that knowledge, the blessings never cease!
So why is it that at times we forget how blessed we are and forget to be grateful? Why do we get those moments where we feel like complaining? My personal opinion is that the moment we start comparing ourselves to others is the moment we stop being grateful. I think we see the "Jones'" next door who have everything and we don't. We see them with their 4 houses, 3 cars and a boat ;-) They seem happier and content because of all they have. We see them happy and become unhappy. We think they must be happy because of what they have, and we must be unhappy because we "have not".
It's like Dr. Seuss' star bellied sneetches. They ran around trying to be the ones with "stars upon thars" and then once they noticed everyone else had it too, they ran around trying to remove them. They ran so quickly from here to there that they lost track of what they were trying to achieve- who they were tyring to "one up". They lost track of what was "the cool thing to do". They forgot to be grateful for what they did have. They forgot to be grateful for their unique personalities, their differences. They focused on what others had, rather than what they had.
I know I am frequently guilty of this mind set. We have friends who have a nicer home, or who have more toys, or who have a cooler car, or who have no debt, or have a big TV, or have a better job that pays more, or seem to have no worries or whatever! The problems arises when we stop worrying about what we are doing to improve and start to worry about someone else!
Have you ever really sat down and tried to "count your blessings"? I don't do it nearly enough. I know I have a million things to be grateful for. I have an amazing husband, incredible family and extended family, beautiful nieces and nephews, a great home, all the food we could ever need, a great job, my health, the gospel, a room full of scrapbook supplies ;-), an education, transportation etc. The list goes on and on! There is so much. And even if all those things weren't on my list--I have my family and the gospel. That in and of itself is so much to be grateful for.
With that said, I should probably get to the quote... I thought it would be appropriate to use a quote from President Hinckley's B's. No one could say it better.
"Walk with gratitude in your hearts, my dear friends. Be thankful for the wonderful blessings which are yours. Be grateful for the tremendous opportunities that you have...
Thank the Lord for His goodness to you. Thank the Almighty for His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who has done for you what none other in all this world could do. Thank Him for His great example, for His tremendous teachings, for His outreaching hand to lift and help...Pour out your heart to your Father in Heaven in gratitude for the gift of His Beloved Son.
Thank the Lord for His marvelous Church restored in this great season of history. Thank Him for all that it offers you. Thank Him for friends and loved ones, for parents and brothers and sisters, for family. Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at it. You will find it will yield wonderful results." --President Gordon B. Hinckley
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Thoughts on Selfishness
I had another one of those moments yesterday- The "I am unhappy, hate my job" moments". I tend to get those a lot when I'm not overly busy at work (thus the daily blog entires). I decided it might be time for a career change. I told my husband this, to which he replied that I only need to stick it out for another 6 months, after which I can get pregnant and just stay home.
Well, for some reason I didn't like that idea. I thought that if this was the case, then I'd just be running away from my "problems" again. Don't like where you are in life? Ignore it and find something else to, thus never having to confront the problem in the first place. This was just my mindset at the moment.
Giving it a little further thought, I realized I don't think "running away from my problems (my job)" is a good excuse for this "problem" (the kids issue). So what is the real reason I don't want to have kids (aside from the fact that I haven't been married very long)?
I thought about it for awhile and even talked the issue over with my husband. My conclusion? Selfishness. I am selfish. I don't want kids because I enjoy my sleep; I really like sleeping through the night! I enjoy my one-on-one time with my husband. I like to get up and do whatever I want whenever I want. I like to be spontaneous. I like to shop. I like to spend money. I like not having to chase a little person around the house. I like to think about myself (and sometimes I even throw my hubby into that equation).
Basically. I like not being tied down. I like not being responsible for anyone but myself and my husband (who can pretty much take care of himself).
Let me say, that I'm not proud of this realization. But I think we all have a bit of selfishness in us-it's human nature. Our task is to overcome those natural tendencies. To put them off and become the opposite--selfless. I think that is one of the glories of being a mother--the ultimate act of selflessness. I think of all the mothers I know-they are the living definition of selflessness and sacrifice.
Basically, the problem lies in the problem. The way to overcome the selfishness not to have children is by having children, and thus becoming selfless. Yes, there are flaws in my logic.
No, I'm not thinking about having children at the moment. It was just a thought I wanted to adress. A step to overcoming a potential problem.
To make a long ranting short, here are a few great quotes I found on the topic:
"The human being who lives only for himself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness. Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies. Don't put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others." --B.C. Forbes
"Give up your selfishness, and you shall find peace; like water mingling with water, you shall merge in absorption." --Sri Guru Granth Sahib
Well, for some reason I didn't like that idea. I thought that if this was the case, then I'd just be running away from my "problems" again. Don't like where you are in life? Ignore it and find something else to, thus never having to confront the problem in the first place. This was just my mindset at the moment.
Giving it a little further thought, I realized I don't think "running away from my problems (my job)" is a good excuse for this "problem" (the kids issue). So what is the real reason I don't want to have kids (aside from the fact that I haven't been married very long)?
I thought about it for awhile and even talked the issue over with my husband. My conclusion? Selfishness. I am selfish. I don't want kids because I enjoy my sleep; I really like sleeping through the night! I enjoy my one-on-one time with my husband. I like to get up and do whatever I want whenever I want. I like to be spontaneous. I like to shop. I like to spend money. I like not having to chase a little person around the house. I like to think about myself (and sometimes I even throw my hubby into that equation).
Basically. I like not being tied down. I like not being responsible for anyone but myself and my husband (who can pretty much take care of himself).
Let me say, that I'm not proud of this realization. But I think we all have a bit of selfishness in us-it's human nature. Our task is to overcome those natural tendencies. To put them off and become the opposite--selfless. I think that is one of the glories of being a mother--the ultimate act of selflessness. I think of all the mothers I know-they are the living definition of selflessness and sacrifice.
Basically, the problem lies in the problem. The way to overcome the selfishness not to have children is by having children, and thus becoming selfless. Yes, there are flaws in my logic.
No, I'm not thinking about having children at the moment. It was just a thought I wanted to adress. A step to overcoming a potential problem.
To make a long ranting short, here are a few great quotes I found on the topic:
"The human being who lives only for himself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness. Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies. Don't put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others." --B.C. Forbes
"Give up your selfishness, and you shall find peace; like water mingling with water, you shall merge in absorption." --Sri Guru Granth Sahib
Monday, June 18, 2007
Thoughts on Humble Pride
I think everyone that knows me knows I am a little like my mother-stubborn and a bit proud. Not necessarily the best trait I learned from her, but probably one of the ones I've learned and adhered to the most. Not something to be proud of.
I remember growing up and Mami was never wrong. Never. So likewise, I assumed that I was never wrong, and if I was wrong, it wasn't my fault and I didn't need to make amends.
Well, I'm finally beginning to learn that isn't quite how it works. I have a husband now and apparently, he is right sometimes, too. This has taken quite an adjustment.
It was an experience the other day that brings me to this topic.
I remember sitting in the car the other day and I did something to offend my sweet husband. I sat there, upset that he was upset. Ridiculous, I know. I realized I had offended him and felt some remorse. Finally, I mustered the courage to apologize. It wasn't that easy for me, which is just sad. He looked over at me and thanked me for apologizing. How pathetic is that!? He had to thank me for apologizing because he knew what a rarity it was. What an eye opener that was-to have my husband thank me for an apology.
I definitely need to work on that-work on my pride, or rather work on my humility.
Here are a few quotes I found on the topic.
"It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character." --Dale E. Turner
"Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." --Thomas Merton
To end on a light note--
"Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows." --Helen Nielsen
I remember growing up and Mami was never wrong. Never. So likewise, I assumed that I was never wrong, and if I was wrong, it wasn't my fault and I didn't need to make amends.
Well, I'm finally beginning to learn that isn't quite how it works. I have a husband now and apparently, he is right sometimes, too. This has taken quite an adjustment.
It was an experience the other day that brings me to this topic.
I remember sitting in the car the other day and I did something to offend my sweet husband. I sat there, upset that he was upset. Ridiculous, I know. I realized I had offended him and felt some remorse. Finally, I mustered the courage to apologize. It wasn't that easy for me, which is just sad. He looked over at me and thanked me for apologizing. How pathetic is that!? He had to thank me for apologizing because he knew what a rarity it was. What an eye opener that was-to have my husband thank me for an apology.
I definitely need to work on that-work on my pride, or rather work on my humility.
Here are a few quotes I found on the topic.
"It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character." --Dale E. Turner
"Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." --Thomas Merton
To end on a light note--
"Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows." --Helen Nielsen
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Thoughts on Sight
A recent adventure I took left me completely in the dark on a very bumpy road on a motorcycle. There were some times when I didn't think I could continue because I couldn't even really see the road in front of me, but we had to continue. It got me thinking about sight or in this case, the lack thereof.
It seems sometimes in life we have to take that initial first step into the darkness before the Lord lights the pathway or leads us along it. The Lord expects us to take that first step after which He'll guide us the rest of the way. Well, unfortunately in this situation the road did not become lighter after I took my first few steps into the dark. But I do feel that there were some times when I took the least "bumpy" part of the road (but don't know how since I couldn't see!).
He didn't lead me the entire way (I have a few bumps to prove it) but I will say that I didn't feel abandoned by Him.
With that said, here is a quote I found on sight.
"Courage brother, do not stumble, though thy path be dark as night: There is a star to guide the humble, trust in God, and do the right. Let the road be dark and dreary and its end far out of sight. Face it bravely, strong or weary. Trust God, and do." - Norman Schwarzkopf
It seems sometimes in life we have to take that initial first step into the darkness before the Lord lights the pathway or leads us along it. The Lord expects us to take that first step after which He'll guide us the rest of the way. Well, unfortunately in this situation the road did not become lighter after I took my first few steps into the dark. But I do feel that there were some times when I took the least "bumpy" part of the road (but don't know how since I couldn't see!).
He didn't lead me the entire way (I have a few bumps to prove it) but I will say that I didn't feel abandoned by Him.
With that said, here is a quote I found on sight.
"Courage brother, do not stumble, though thy path be dark as night: There is a star to guide the humble, trust in God, and do the right. Let the road be dark and dreary and its end far out of sight. Face it bravely, strong or weary. Trust God, and do." - Norman Schwarzkopf
Friday, June 15, 2007
Thoughts on Aging
Yesterday I went visiting teaching to a girl in my ward. Somehow we got on the topic of age. She is probably 4-5 years older than me and is one of the leaders in the Young Women's program. She mentioned that people don't think she looks old enough to be one of the leaders. She then asked if she should do something differently-like wear more make-up, buy more mature clothing, do her hair differently, act different etc.
This got me thinking... What is it about age that makes all younger people, so desperately, want to be old and all the older people want to be young again? Why can't we just be happy with how old/young we are or how old/young we look or even how old/young we feel?
Why aren't we ever content with who we are or where we are in the stages of age and life?
Part of the reason must be that our human nature never fully allows us to be content with who we are, what we're doing in life, how we look etc...
Basically, I don't have an answer. That's the best part about these entries, I don't have to. I can just randomly throw out rhetorical questions!
I couldn't just pick one quote today, so here are a few of my favorite quotes on aging:
"Age is no barrier. It's a limitation you put on your mind." -unknown
"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything." -Oscar Wilde
"Age should not have its face listed, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character." -unknown
"The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning you're not old." -unknown
"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." -Sophia Loren
"At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all." -unknown
This got me thinking... What is it about age that makes all younger people, so desperately, want to be old and all the older people want to be young again? Why can't we just be happy with how old/young we are or how old/young we look or even how old/young we feel?
Why aren't we ever content with who we are or where we are in the stages of age and life?
Part of the reason must be that our human nature never fully allows us to be content with who we are, what we're doing in life, how we look etc...
Basically, I don't have an answer. That's the best part about these entries, I don't have to. I can just randomly throw out rhetorical questions!
I couldn't just pick one quote today, so here are a few of my favorite quotes on aging:
"Age is no barrier. It's a limitation you put on your mind." -unknown
"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything." -Oscar Wilde
"Age should not have its face listed, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character." -unknown
"The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning you're not old." -unknown
"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." -Sophia Loren
"At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all." -unknown
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Late thoughts on Time
For the first thought of the day, I've chosen one on time. I read someone's blog the other day on the subject of time and thought it was very interesting and something to reflect on a little longer.
What is it about time that makes it pass much too quickly when you want to soak it in, and then crawls slowly by when you are ready to move on!? What is it that makes a baby only a baby for a day, but an adult for the rest of your life? Or that makes vacation seem to last a second and a work day last a month? Who knows!? No wonder time is something only God must understand.
Either way, I liked this thought and thought it all too true:
"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back." --Harvey MacKay
Be cautious of what you spend your time on, how you use it and be sure not to lose it!
What is it about time that makes it pass much too quickly when you want to soak it in, and then crawls slowly by when you are ready to move on!? What is it that makes a baby only a baby for a day, but an adult for the rest of your life? Or that makes vacation seem to last a second and a work day last a month? Who knows!? No wonder time is something only God must understand.
Either way, I liked this thought and thought it all too true:
"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back." --Harvey MacKay
Be cautious of what you spend your time on, how you use it and be sure not to lose it!
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